SHE.HER.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I think I'm going to fall sick again. *sobs* My coughing just wouldn't go away. *sigh* Will be visiting doctor later. And really, I don't care what you guys going to say eventhough I know tomorrow nobody is suppose to go on leave but I'm damn sick alright? I need full rest.

I'm already feeling the pressure of everything. Left only a week left (after minus off the holidays and weekends).

*sigh*

Ain't the song nice? I'm loving the guitar solo part.

Song : According To You
Sang By: Orianthi

According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress,
can't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

According to you
I'm boring,
I'm moody,
you can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;
you're the boy who puts up with it.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide.

According to me
you're stupid,
you're useless,
you can't do anything right.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you. [you, you]
According to you. [you, you]

According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.

I wish I can play guitar. And I wonder when will I be able to achieve that dream of mine?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I just don't have the urge to blog. But *sigh* I don't even know why I switched on.

I was looking forward of going out tonight as my class has been cancelled again.

Seriously, I don't feel like attending it anymore. It as thou the class ain't important and he always have his talks on Wednesday. It defeats the purpose of me wanting to be a good muslimah when the educator himself kept on postponing the lesson.

You snapped at me in the afternoon when I asked if you managed to make it work after the replacement for it had arrived. I was really taken aback. It felt as thou my heart was crumpled and being stepped on it before being chucked into the rubbish bin. Do you know how hurt I was when you did that? And thank you for still being a human by being thoughtful and realised what you did by sms-ing me with the apologies. *sigh*

And me being stucked again at home on Wednesday night *sigh* I seriously need to make plans to prevent myself from feeling bored. It really kills me.

The other you, I don't know when you're gonna meet me. *sigh* Just to let you know, I'm not hoping.

The other other you called me, informing me that his handphone was missing. At last he said it what I've expected him to say. Its kinda too late, isn't it? Because I've already know it before you went MIA. And I know that he yearns to meet me. And I jolly know that he wanted me to attend Wan Ted's wedding next Sunday but I'm really sorry. I've to attend my own relative's wedding. My aunt is expecting me to turn up because she knows that I love to help out during weddings.

Despite loving to attend weddings, it somehow strikes in my mind and my soul. When am I going to be the Queen of the Day? And I wonder who will be my King? Wondering too much wouldn't get me anywhere either. I know the time will come but when, I guess it will not be so soon.

So, stop asking me when's my turn going to be..? That's why I don't really fancy attending weddings where people will start asking when's my turn? Why the rush? And if possible, I would prefer to find my own instead of being matchmaked. But, I do appreciate the kind act of trying to matchmake me but really, it really makes me feel awkward.

Even if I have the money or marrying someone rich, it wouldn't bring me the happiness which I'm looking for. The love package will eventually have to come with the happiness I yearn. But up to this date, I doubt I've ever encountered the grand package before.

That's why I'm not really looking for it as it will comes naturally to me because I always believe that you can't find love when you try and find it. The "cupid angel" will not be shooting love arrows in your life if you're hunting for it. That's not how it works.

Anyway...............................

To Zul,

Happy Belated Birthday.

May you have a blissful year ahead :) I know I've wished you on your birthday yesterday.

To my babe Shasha

Happy Birthday Gal

May you have a blissful year ahead with your loved ones :) I'm sure this year's celebration will be a joyous one :)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Last post was 30th November. Pretty long, isn't it?

I was on leave last Friday till today. But was down with flu on Sunday, thus I had to stay home most of the time except Thursday and Friday. Didn't tell my family about it thou. But its kinda wasted to just sit at home or fell asleep due to the drowsiness from the medication.

Plans had to be postponed or even cancelled. *sigh* There goes the trip to KL. And trying to overnight outside. If not, tonight I would be overnight somewhere in Singapore.

Something really bothers me. Thou I do not know if I should pretend or I shouldn't be feeling this way.

But, what I can say.. It saddens me.. It brokes my heart. It brings me to tears.. even as I typed this entry..

I just feel as thou i should shut myself from the world and cuddle myself alone for a very long time *sigh*

I know I need to be strong but.. *sigh*