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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Met my babe late yesterday. Supposed to go to gym but we've to postpone it as I ended work late. My Sup doesn't allow me to go home on the dot as I've to complete for the Principal's presentation. But nearly 7pm, I pleaded with him to let me off, to which he asked me to arrive for work at 7am the next day.

Had our meal at MacDonald. After which, she helped me with my nails.


Haha. I only managed to do my left pointing finger. Ahakz. Thanks babe for helping me (^_^)


Lovely, lovely, lovely. Thanks once again, babe!

Anyway, reached work late just now. Instead of 7am, i reached half an hour later as I woke up late. All thanks to my sister for not waking up at 4am and waking me up at 5am. Urgh! Anyway, I was busy the moment I reached school till about 930am. My Sup was rushing me to finished the presentation. I find that it's redundant for me to redo the whole thing again when I have it in Visio. I just don't know why they need the format to change? Why can't they just use what I've given them??

Afternoon was busy as I had do filming and assisting with integrated IT lessons to their curriculum. Lots of pending work. *sigh* And, I did OT just now. Can't believe I'm working 11h 30mins just now *faints* Supposed to meet up with Iman but his sister wanted to come over to his home. My fingers kind of numb with all that copy and pasting for the voting *sigh*

I have a feeling. An insecure feeling that somehow, someone is telling me a lie. =( I don't know. I hate this feeling. Hopefully, my guilt doesn't turn out to be the truth.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Met up with Shasha yesterday as he ended work quite late. Accompanied her to buy a pair of shoes. A couple of shoes tempted me. And she made me felt tempted to punch in the pin code for my ATM card. Luckily, I didn't lose out to temptation.

Was in Senyums FM for about 2 hours till 1am. Babe joined in. Tag team for awhile. Lol. Yeah babe. I really felt like having my own chalet. After hearing all that songs. What do ya think? Anyway, had a short conversation with him for awhile before he went for bed at around 1130pm.

My supervisor bullied me. I was up and down from level 2 and 3 for about 4 times. Asked me to edit and meet him after I've completed. I'm wearing heels uh. Dalam hati "Tak baik tul. Buang masa turun naik je".

It was my first time laughing with him. Why? Because I kept going back to him to pass the slides and he's supposed to pass to me a framework to put in. And he still had not find the framework. He said "Haha. I haven't find yet. Too busy with so many things. Doing all that one time. How I wish I have 2 brains and 6 hands. Hahaha. " Erk. Scary. Sounds like octopus but octopus only have a teeny brain. Lol.

I'm actually feeling quite sleepy now (-_-") after eating Nasi Briyani. Forcing myself to eat something exteremely heavy since there's nothing much to eat in school.

You know, I'm feeling excited today. Know why? Because, it's going to be

Gym Day!

on Wednesdays. Hopefully. Focus aite? Getting myself fit again. Throwing all the unwanted fats. Ewans had been bugging me to slim down. To which, my reply was "No need to tell me uh. I know. And I'm going on Wednesday".

The only thing that I can still remembered what he told me was
Asyik makan nasi ayam je?
Erk! I do love eating chicken. But, ok I think I might look like a chicken waiting to be slaughtered >.<



Watch till the end. Beginning might be a bit boring but just be patience before it goes to the interesting part =)
Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Met up with my babe yesterday. Initially, Ewans wanted to meet me but he confirmed pretty late. So, yeah a night out with my babe. Had our usual dinner before we splurge our money again. Lol.

Instead of she's doing the shopping, ended up I'm the one doing lots of shopping. Things that she bought
I think that's all. As for me, here are the items which I bought
Fuhh. Haha. Next on the list, will be handphone! Waiting for the Chinese New Year promotion *grins*.

Was on the phone with Ewans earlier on. He was asking me "Nak ikot pi picnic on CNY? Tak tau whether its on CNY itself or weekends with my family". *grins* Ikot kan hati, I would love to say yes. Tapi, we just wait and see aite? (^_^)

Busy day today *sigh* was on the feet whole morning from 8.10am till 12pm just to switch on computers in my lab, Lab 2 & Lab 3. My colleague was supposed to take charge of Lab 3, oh well. And lucky for me, I didn't need to do the same thing in the afternoon. That morning incident left my legs feeling shaky like jelly and thirsty. I felt like fainting on the way to the canteen for my simple lunch = fish burger. Pathetic right? I know. Lol.

Time to do checking on him. Pick up the phone!!
Monday, January 28, 2008

I added an application on facebook to find out what my birth date means. Wanna know?

You are resilient in the face of difficulties, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested. You've had some tough experiences in your life, but you are wise and mature from them. Having had to grow up ahead of your times, you tend not to heed the advice of others. You tend to be a loner sometimes and think that you cannot depend on anyone else but yourself.

Mostly, quite true. Hmm, sometimes I tend to keep things to myself rather than tell anyone. Not even my family, my besties or anyone I know. Perhaps, I still thinks that I don't want to be such a bothersome person to people that I know. *shrugs*

Anyway, last Friday met Ewans after work. Went to his neighbour's house as he wanted to karaoke for awhile. He and his neighbour actually asked me to sing but I was too embarrassed to sing. Firstly, I may not get the right tune. Next, I may not know how the song should be sung (sung or sing? ah, either way is alright). Lastly, voice might be a problem. Anyone care to be my instructor? Haha. Reached home about 11.10pm and charged my handphone since the battery was exhausted before I left my workplace.

As for Saturday, went to Wan Ted's home. Initially to meet Mr. Imp, but guessed what? He fell asleep like 2 hours after we met. Instead, I was fixing Wan's computer since it was freaking lagging. Guess how many hours I spent in front of the computer? 5 hours. No kidding.

Night came, Vans called me sounded angrily. He told me he tried calling me until 11pm but all he heard was my voicemail. So, I told him what's the fuss about? Lied to him that I reached home early on Friday. Why must I tell him the truth when he himself lied to me? Furthermore, my purpose is to make him get mad with me. I can't be bothered with him. I'm gamed on ever since he starts to lie through his teeth.

Mr. Imp called me nearly 10pm and apologised for sleeping. *shrugs* Thou he was having fever, he knew I'm mad because of my tone. The tone where everyone hates it. The tone which makes you feel that your call is unwanted. Like duh, who wouldn't do that when someone ask you to meet them and you yourself ain't getting enough sleep. Ended up, you watch that someone sleeping the entire 5 hours, no matter how you tried to wake that person up.

Spent my time at home on Sunday as I was down with stomach cramp. Damn the menses for making me crouching here and there while lying down on the bed.

I couldn't breathe at work. Tasks had been piling but the mood of working is not there anymore >.< possibly because I can't wait to leave the company as a whole. Darn, forgot to tell my supervisor that I need a testimonial.
Friday, January 25, 2008

Second entry...

Can't believe that tears flow down my cheeks. Switched off my phone and never would I want to hear from him. I've decided, to just ignore him. No matter how he tried to convince me by saying he misses me or whatsoever, I shouldn't bug. Please gurl. Be strong. I know I can do it. If I can go through forgetting and ignoring Rifae, this should be easy too since he don't call me often.

Told Iman, he was disappointed of course. I've hurt him. *sigh* I'm sorry. Because, all the conversations we had in the msn, through the phone and through the FM, well it's not a make up thing to hurt his feelings. Crush on Iman? Yes. Definitely.

I couldn't prevent my tears from falling down. Had a fair share of making a small puddle. I couldn't take the stress any longer. Switched off my phone and called Ewans. Thanks dear. He knew I'm down.

Told me to ignore Vans.
U kan ada I. Ignore him ok?
I'll try. Hopefully. Ignoring him should be a bliss. Calling him soon to see if Ewans meeting me soon or whether he's having an OT.

Everything was alright in the morning, with a little bored at first. Will not be meeting Ewans since he have to do OT till end of the month *sigh* Can't meet him (T_T)

Had msn conversation with one of my tagged friends. He helped me alot, thou quite a lot of times my babes had been advising me to leave Vans for good. I want to, but I don't know how. I felt confident yesterday that I will succeed in telling him to fark off from my life.

Something that he said felt like slapping me in the face.
It's not complicated. You made it looked complicated. The solution? Ask him to fark off. Simple.

But, the confidence just vanished when he called after lunch.

I didn't picked up the first call as I can't be bothered to talk to him, but the second call, I've to pick it up since my colleague was around. He wanted to meet me today. Ok, fine since I'm feeling bored and will be bored after work.


And, I have things to do since morning and I could already felt the heat coming from my body, to which I ignored it. No matter how I felt bored at work with the pending tasks on hand, still work is work. Tiap kali ada keja, mesti ada orang lain yang menghalang. Bila nak settle ni smua??

Anyway, Marsita called me twice and I can't be bothered with her anymore after that December incident. And less then 10 minutes, Vans called again. Told me to meet at his home. WTF la.

Vans: Meet me pat rumah.
Me: Huh? Pat Bukit Panjang?
Vans: A'ah. I tunggu k?
Me: Alah. Jauh la. U mean I kena travel sorang²? Penat la (to which, yes I'm feeling dead tired now)
Vans: I malas nak kluar.
Me: Ti I da mit U, den I kena travel lagi. Jauh tau. At least 1h 30 mins seh journey.
Vans: Alah. U ni. Da 3 kali U buat gini. Bila leh jumpa, U lak kasi alasan. Nanti I kena meet my ibu. Eh, salah. My kakak nak mit jab.
Me: Tapi I penat seh nak travel. Ti U kol me at 5pm.
Vans: Suka hati U la. U pikir dulu.
*hang up phone*

From that moment, I was extremely pissed off. Lahabau kan? Cekik darah tul. The confidence was gone ever since he called me just now *sigh* I can really felt that my top was about to blow. But, somehow I control myself.

I felt like msn-ing someone, so I msned one of my facebook friends. And ended up me getting much more angry. Sorry uh. He said "Yelah.. u nak mintak my help. ibarat u naik hot air balloon. then u kata takpe. ibarat no api to heat up the balloon to rise"

Ok. I'm having a headache now (-_-")
Thursday, January 24, 2008

Something to share about my zodiac. (^_^)

PISCES - The Partner for LifeCaring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Messy at times and irresponsible! Smart but lazy. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. Lover of animals. VERY caring, make wonderful nurses or doctors. They always try to do the right thing sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes et used by others and hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but need to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.

Here's a nice song which I heard at Jazwan's myspace profile. Title is "Tapi Bukan Aku" by Kerispatih.



Anyway, I'm slacking again today >.< I don't know why. I felt bored. I felt sucks today. *sigh* And I forced myself to have something for lunch.

Thanks to my babe yesterday. But, the nightmare wasn't over. He came online and went to Senyum's FM and tell the whole world about it. I'm not happy either. Nor were the kids there. Why? Because mainly, it's between me and him and it's kind of the gangster's communication (lu, gue, wa kind) *sigh* And because of that, I couldn't sleep.

Frustrated? Yes. Of course. I felt like strangling him of course. Argghh!

Vans called at 515am. I was talking nonsense I guessed. Wanted to meet me today. But, I don't know. Ain't that keen anymore. I still find that we're drifted apart. I guessed, he sensed that. Because, previously whenever he wanted to meet me, I will always try my best and be there for him. But, after what actually happened and after I've thought through, why can't he be there for me? Why is it always me?

Ewans asked whether I would like to chat with his colleague, to which I rejected him. But, he told me it would be better for me to know who is his colleague. But, eventually he didn't passed the phone to him (-_-")

He asked me about 5pm what time I'm going home today. Reason? Because he's delivering the goods at Defu Lane, just near my area. *sigh* I can't uh reach there in less than 1 hour. (T_T) You know, I think I have feelings for him (^_^")
Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Second entry for today....

I was browsing friendster. And I realised that I didn't post up a picture of Nazreen and her hubby. Well, I'm not sure if the picture is with babey Lia.

Oh well, here is the picture of them which I took from Nazreen's profile. Sorry for taking this picture without your permission.

Her hubby was an ex-bouncer. So, that explains aite? But, I hope they are having a happy life =)

Seeing one by one of my friends getting married actually do make me think. A lot actually. My life kind of messy nowadays. Yeah, truly messy since Vans actually exist again in my life (unwillingly). If he's a good boyfriend, I wouldn't mind that much.

And if I didn't treat last year as the silence break moment, it will be 4 years that I'm with him. Long? I don't know. I don't even think I know about him that much *sigh* But, with what had actually happened it just triggered my thoughts. My trust towards him is no longer there. My love towards him has actually vanished, well maybe about 1% left?

And the way I acted with him when I met him earlier this month was totally weird and not myself. *sigh* He noticed that, especially when I'm sitting far away from him. The best song to described this is Lamunan Terhenti by Aris Ariwatan (not sure if I get he title and singer correctly).

And I don't think I'm going to get married to people like him. But, what does it mean? I mean I don't even know my status right now *sigh* thou he still calls me "B". After which, he will disappeared again for about a week or two before contacting me again, which is actually quite norm to me.

So, that means if I have a heart to someone else, I can't be with them because of Vans? I'm just *sigh* feeling lost here.

*some updates..edited* : Called Ewans just now. Guessed what? Wouldn't be seeing him for sometime I guess (T_T) as he have to do OT till end of the month because of the CNY.

Met up with Shasha yesterday. And we had our meal at....

Ramen Ten!

Yey!! Been a while since we had something Japanesey. Lol. It was superb except I don't really like the Salmon Sashimi Handroll (>.<) Should just stick with Teriyaki Chicken. Oh well. Never mind.

But still, we had sushi! Yey (^_^) Treated her sushi. And both of us each ordered a ramen bowl. I had Beef Tom Yum while she had Chicken Karage. As for the drinks, she had the kiwi soda while I had the mango soda =)

She finally chatted with Ewans through my phone yesterday while we're at Watson after dinner. So what do you think, babe?

Isn't that busy yesterday nor today. Still have lots more pending. I'm doing one thing at a time.
Monday, January 21, 2008

Yesterday was alright. Was pretty bored actually, and I didn't sleep in the afternoon. Instead, watched The Incredibles. Initially, I wanted to watch Heroes series but I didn't know where my sis kept the DVD since she was asleep at that time.

Anyway, work is alright. Except, there's newbie again today *sigh* Hate it. And this trainer was from another company which was once the big issue which me and CT B was involved in. Anyway, all this newbie does was laughed and was amused when I told him that I will go off later. Like duh, why must I be out of the school early when I'm meeting someone at Woodlands, which is just 2 stations away? I find him like a threat. Lol!

Anyway, met Ewans today *glee* Ahakz. Board on his lorry and off we went to the East side. While we were at the expressway, there's accident involved in the 3rd lane, between a car and a motorcycle. Glasses were shattered on the road, I saw scratches on the pillion's legs. According to Ewans, he saw that the lady's face was badly injured, while the rider was uninjured. The only thing I witnessed was that the Rider just smashed his helmet down while talking to the lady passenger from the car. If I'm not mistaken, the bike was badly damaged. Therefore traffic was slow around that area.

He showed me his license card and Identity Card *glee* Looked different compare to his current being *grins* He fixed the speaker and boy, he played loud music and singing his heart out.



(Apologise for the blurness in the picture) There's one part whereby I was preventing the door from being slammed to the wall and the door was extremely light, therefore my lil finger was injured. *tsk tsk* He told me to shake it off but still, the ache wouldn't go away. *sigh* After awhile, he sent me home. Whee~! His eyes were pretty bloodshot. Probably because he lacked of sleep, tired and well..because of...hmm..shall not mention.

Thanks for the company today. Truly appreaciate it (^_^)

Suddenly, I remembered something which I msned Shasha just now. Was telling her how thin Ewans was and I even commented that he doesn't have a butt >_< Guessed what? Ewans just told me "I tau I takde butt" Lol. Ahakz. Thanks for the confirmation dear. Tee Hee Hee....
Saturday, January 19, 2008

Met up Ewans yesterday and we sat down looking at the waters that flows between Singapore and Malaysia. It's seriously beautiful. I enjoyed the scenary and company. Thanks.

Vans called me today and he wanted to meet me but I rejected him. DK69 too asked me out but I turned him down as I have engagement function to attend.

Supposed to meet someone today. And that someone supposed to accompany me to Nana's engagement at Fajar Road, Bukit Panjang. Since I've already gotten his confirmation yesterday night, I was supposed to confirm the timing today.

Messaged at 12pm but only got through him (since he didn't reply my sms) at about 2pm. He say it's alright but it's kinda rushy to pick me up at 330pm since he left his car at Suntec (that's true of course because I "accompanied" him home through hp last night).

About 340pm, told me that there's a little change of plan as he had to meet up his parents to send them for checkup at the very last minute. Ok, that's alright with me as there's nothing between me and him and parents are always the first priority. Told me he will contact me an hour later to confirm with me.

Guess what?
I wait....

and wait.....
and wait.....
for 2 more hours..... But the call or even message never came in. *sigh* At least have the courtesy to inform me that he's unable to meet me. I knew it already since he didn't call me within the first hour.

The worse thing is that I've to lie to Nana that I'm having diarrehoa and I lied to my parents that I'm having a stomachache.

And know what?

Thanks for making me wait.
Friday, January 18, 2008

Guess what? Finally, I've told my decision to my boss (^_^) Told him I'm not going to continue. And gave him a reason that I'm going to NIE to take degree. Bluek! Serve you right! At first it was pretty tough as he kept on psycho me to stay on and taking a part-time degree (since I didn't mention the word NIE).

Anyway, no matter what, it's still up to me. When I say no, means no. He can't make me change. Even my parents did told me that they will not change my mind if I decide to leave the company (thou they are the first few people to feel happy).

What made me finally told my boss about the decision, there's a lot of factors. Firstly, I felt confidence after thinking through thoroughly.
  1. Low salary - Obviously they are paying me lower than what my position should be getting.
  2. Late payment - I don't know what's soo stupid about them that they still had not pay my allowance yet. And kept on asking us how many course we had conducted (when we had already submit the necessary documents over & over again). Bear in mind, they still have not yet paid us for nearly a year.
  3. Workload - Of course in every company you're working with, yes there's a lot of workload. But seriously, it's too much whereby we are doing not 1 person's tasks but at the most 3 people's tasks.
  4. Trust - without trust from them to employees, don't think you can work well. And they had been accusing me a lot of things which made me recall of the past.
  5. Gossips - Of course there's bound to have busybody workers in the office. But, gossips regarding me and my another 3 colleagues are totally unacceptable, whereby not only they gossip, they also spread rumours about us.
So there you have it. The main factors which drove me to reject the position. Furthermore, even if I were to accept it, the next level will be the Assistant Manager position. And the workload is even more whereby I've to be prepared to go home at least about 10pm everyday.

Pretty sleepy today. Gosh, finding myself falling a sleep in front of the computer about 4 times today. Took about 30 minutes nap at some corners before getting myself busy with the tasks.

Have a great weekend beauties & hunkies (^_^)
Thursday, January 17, 2008

Yesterday, my colleague played a prank on me. Jaat seh! He knew that I'm soo stressed because I had to inform my coy about my decision. So he pretended to be one of the programmer who have the indian slang. And I only picked up after I purposely left the first call unanswered.

"Imptias": U need to go back office today.
Me: Um..can't. I got family matters (started to sweat)
"Imptias": What family matters? No no. U have to come back. (Name of company) is also family matters
Me: Eh? Cannot la! How can you all do that? I really do have family matters to attend now!

After a while, my colleague's voice gave away. Jaat kan!

Met with my babe. She laughed when I told her about it.

Niwei, today pretty busy. Was doing that majong paper transferring to computer when I was told to find P&C stuff from the net. And guessed what? My supervisor asked me to call my boss. I was like "SHIT!"

So, before I picked up the phone, I recite some prayers to make myself calm (either baca doa atau zikir). After done with that, I was running here and there with the documents before I called my boss back. Was halfway talking to him, suddenly my supervisor knocked my door and told me to clip them since its urgent.

This is what I told my boss after I told him everything is settled. "I gtg. Urgent task. Bye!" before slamming the phone down. Haha!

And last but not least, I had to complete all the powerpoint presentation of the books. *sigh*

Okies. Got to go now. Meeting my babe very soon. Ciao~!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Before I waste my time with the stupid newbie which is going to arrive very soon, I better typed down whatever is in my mind. I've

thousands of things

running at one time in my brain. Arrghh! Hate it!

I wouldn't mention whatever happens yesterday night. That is not as important as my decision today. *sigh*


Told Mama that I will just stop till here. Consulted my another babey and she advised me to see if they offered medical subsidised. Why is it soo hard? Urgh! Why can't they make my life easier??

It saddens me most is when I felt I'm paid the lowest in Mama's side and perhaps Abah's side also. *sigh* It stressed me up.

I felt like bursting into tears every now and then. The pressure is soo great compare to the task pressure. And, it has been happening ever since I came back from leave, after I gotten know they wanted to promote me and even until today.

Whichever decision I make later on, it will either benefit or affect my future. Hopefully, I don't make the same mistake again, nor for the future...

And this stupid newbie can ask me "Where are you?" when he haven't even reached the school! Fark la! Cam nak kena lashing dengan aku! Urgh!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Newbie came early today, 30 minutes before he's supposed to report to me. I can't even have my breakfast. Oh well. While passing some info on what all newbie should know, I was asked to go down to meeting room. And I can tell you, I can't finish what he wants me to do. *sigh*

Moments later, I was told to do printing. I thought I can multi-task but the problem is the printer always suffered jams and I had to monitor it. Urgh! Wasting my time!

And not only that, tasks after tasks. Darn, can't they see I'm busy?

Then scanning of pictures. Lucky I had the newbie to type for me something. Hmm, I'm thinking what task should I ask that another newbie to do for me tomorrow?

Tomorrow is another hell day for me *tsk tsk* Continue with the printing where this printer just kept on eating the papers till it hang. And another newbie. Stop it la seh giving me these newbies. They're eating my time (x_x")

CSOs asked me whether I can request to stay on. But the chances of getting approved is very slim. And one of the kid kept on asking me if she can come down. Alamak, I thought she wanted to meet some teacher. And it turned out she bought something from bookshop (-_-")

I still haven't get the answer yet. Some ask me to grab the offer, some ask me to leave while others ask me to look and see if I benefit from it. I don't know and I can't decide. That's why I'm asking you people for opinion. If I know what's my decision, I wouldn't even ask in the first place.

2 guys wanting to meet me at the same time. Darn. Thou I've promised one yesterday. Sorry to let you down.

Yesterday, went for massage. Boy, my shoulder still hurts. It's still sore and it badly needs someone to massage to ease the tension, to ease the pain away.

I think I need more theraphy. More yoga, more gym and massage. So my babes, when are we going to hit the centre again?
Monday, January 14, 2008

Ah, the time has finally arrived. Been in search of a nice song and finally I've decided on this Rihanna song thou it's remix. It came out of the sudden when one of the FM played this remix. Please listen to the song till the end (I like the last part of the song).

So, hopefully with the change of blog skin and song, I wouldn't remember the past that much. I need my babes and friends to help me to forget the past.

Today, a little busy. Soon I'm going to be away from the computer as I have to prepare for tomorrow's visit. And tomorrow, the newbie will be here. Aiyah. Stupid!

And guess what? Nasir, the night debator who I last chatted with gave me missed calls today. Wonder what he wants from me? Hmm.....

I'm scared of this Wednesday. Please show me the light. I need to know it really soon before the truth is finally revealed.......



Feeling kind of bored right now. *sigh* I know I should be sleeping now. Will go to bed soon. Working later on. Not looking forward to it actually xP

Going massage soon in the evening. Hmm, should I place my picture on the right side or is it fine without my picture? Not sure if it looked like too wordy. Comments please?



Anyway, the picture above belongs to Abg Stormy's daughter. Not sure if I've posted this before. I need to clear most of the pictures which I bluetooth to this Mac Powerbook as I have to return it soon.

I was under "depression" just now. Hmm, well sort of actually. But I think should be ok very soon. Hopefully.. Boiled some dry stuff for the obat periok around mid day on Sunday. Boy, the taste is extremely awful. Mama told me that what people usually do is after they drank the water, they will take some soury stuff to balance the "taste buds".

Lastly... Hmm, what song should I change to for my blog? Remix perhaps?
Sunday, January 13, 2008

Need to change the skin. Previous skin was actually, how to describe? It just reminds me of the past. And I've decided to move on. Hopefully....

This is basically how i felt inside me. Hmm...Will be doing some editing soon. Meanwhile, this is what I can do at the moment. Will get the rest completed soon as its raining and thunderstorms can be heard.

Tuesday & Wednesday : I will be having newbies in my school. *sigh*

I'm given till this coming Wednesdays to give my answer whether I wanted the promotion. My cliques do not want to continue. I'm just undecided *sigh*

Other people are happy with their promotions while I'm stress with it *sob sob*
Friday, January 11, 2008

You know. It sucks. Seriously. Forcing to lie all that stuff. Urgh! *sigh* And I'm deeply in stress. I'm in need of someone. Someone for comfort.

And, I've decided to do what I've never done before in my life. Yes, pretty soon. Just to get the answer.

Work had been stressful for me. With them hurrying me to grab the offer, I don't know if it's a good deal. 20% with 6 months extend to about a year, after which I will receive 41% increment of my current pay. Is it good? I really in need of answers.

As for Mr. Imp, perhaps I've been hoping too much. Perhaps I should move on. Like what my babe had said before, it's better to let go and focus on someone else who is worth thinking. Will bear that in mind. Thanks.

As for Mr. Vans, well you know that I have long ago try to forget you. You came back and still doing the same style. I really can't admit, yes the feeling for Mr. Vans is still somewhat there, but not as much as before. Perhaps 10% left? I don't know.
Thursday, January 10, 2008

Came across this clip when blog hopped to Kat's blog.



The lady with the name of Leyla looked kind of kerek. Just take a look at the video aite?

Nothing much to update. Didn't went to office yesterday. Will go to office later today to meet up another manager (since my manager is on mc. damn la. I'm the one who's supposed to go on mc ok) and to submit my report.

Kind of sleepy today eventhou I slept at about 1140pm. *sigh* The tiredness is eating me. Anyway, called Ewan to "accompany" him till the tyre shop opened. Lol. Kecian uh tayar pancit. Ahakz.

Before I continue my work, I would like to wish to all Muslims

Selamat menyambut 1st Muharram

Semoga this whole brand new year is better, penuh dengan berkat dan mendatangkan rahmat kurnia dari yang Maha Esa. Insya Allah. (^_^)
Wednesday, January 09, 2008

This is for Shasha & Ryan

Happy 1st Anniversary,
Shasha & Ryan!!


May your love blooms as each day pass by. Semoga sampai ke akhir hayat (^_^)

Suka eh babe dapat bunga. Wow. And, like I mentioned the other time, Ryan confirm will give you Rochers. Kan kan kan? I'm happy for her. (^_^) She's soo happy now.

Yesterday, knocked out by about 11pm. I was too tired. My sickness didn't go away. Online for awhile before I went to bed.

And today, a little slack at work. Thou I managed to get most my tasks done. Left to do some printing for the final reports. And, my meeting was postponed from 5pm to 6pm. *sigh* I really don't like it.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Met up with my babe yesterday as I had to go to Yoga centre to pay up last month's bill *sigh* Wonder when am I going to be active back?

I wasn't feeling my best yesterday. Was dead sick. Wanting to take MC today but I ditched the idea. Soreness overcome me yesterday with everyone asking me what happened? Even the AM of the school (when I don't really communicate with him that much)asked me whether I cheered soo much during the holiday (-_-")

Went to Bugis to have dinner and then back home.

Ok, I'm getting fed up with Kakak as she WILL throw tantrums if I'm using the computer after 1130pm. And typing onto the keyboard as thou she's going to kill that keyboard *sigh* I have enough of it. I know she's should act mature, but she isn't.

Mama applied bedak sejuk on my back yesterday. Just the spots left. And she was poking to the extra flab at my sides saying "Tengok ni. Dulu tak macam ni..." Okok, get what she meant. ARGH! I need to visit gym by next Monday.

I've an engagement invitation on the 19th this month at Fajar Road. Wonder who shall follow me on that day.. Hmm.

One of the teachers came to return the tablet.
T: You sick ah?
Me: Sore throat only
T: Never take MC?
Me: Never mind la.
T: Eventhou it's only sore throat, it can affect your health more. Better go and see doctor

Thanks for being concern towards me. Hopefully I can go on medical leave soon *grins* hehe.

Yesterday, 2 teachers got to know I'm gonna be transferred out. One of them told me that she will talk to my supervisor and talk to him to make me stay in school. While the other told me "Oh, your first residential school? No wonder you feel attached here..."

Anyway, chatted with my TA just now. He's leaving by end of this month. Wahh! Told me that he's moving on to wireless department. So good. And he, of course told me that it's good to move on to other schools. For now, I'm treasuring my days in school *sigh* I just don't want to go back to office *sob sob*

Ah, my massage is being carried forward to today instead of tomorrow. Bodoh kan dorang. Da tentu cakap ti dorang arrangekan Wednesday as our massage day.
Saturday, January 05, 2008

Cross over to the neighbouring country with my parents. I was soo jakun when I reached custom otw to the other side's custom. I kept on asksing Abah how to do it..Because we had to slot in our passport, wait for the gate to open and then place our thumb to scan. And I'm always nervous each time there's a need for my thumbprint. My whole hand felt sweaty. I was given 3 times and I failed all these 3 times (either too light, too hard or my thumb was too sweaty). As a result, I had to go the person who was on duty for virtual scan thumbprint.

Upon reaching larkin, we had our meal at the new "restaurant". Mama ordered laksa (which tasted more like lontong's gravy with yellow noodles) while abah and me had nasi lemak. The food isn't superb, thou the interior of the restaurant looked like Pizza Hut's style. Bad thing about this restaurant is that there's no hot drinks in the morning. Fake! How can a restaurant do not have hot water? And they claimed that only cold drinks are served but the mango juice doesn't even have ice and it tasted too watery. Yucks!

After that, we managed to buy our main item which is the bedak sejuk =) I bought this purple top which cost RM 60. It just happened to catch my attention while we're on the way to the shop which sells the bedak sejuk. There's another one, which my mom happened to like but she didn't buy it fearing that it will be too small for her. Only after we're at Kranji MRT, then she realised that she should have just bought that clothes.

Before we went home, stopped at MacD for a cup of cappucino. Tee Hee.

Someone commented that I've gained weight after we last met about a year ago. Hmm, know what? I think I heard the machines in the gym calling me......
Friday, January 04, 2008

Here's the song which I find quite meaningful.. Tiga Malam Tanpa Bintang by FiQ.


Kasih... maafkan diriku..
Banyak..dosaku padamu..
Tidak terhitunng jari jemari kaku..
Tak dapat di bilang bagai bintang beribu...
Sukarnya driku menebus kesilapan yang lalu...

Kasih.. engkau x besalah hanya...
Hatiku yang buta...
Tulus dan Ikhlas kau korban jiwa raga..
Dan tanpa belas buat kau kecewa..
Ku tahu dirimu sukar melupakan segalanya...

3 malam tanpa bintang
Dan diriku..dihimpit penyesalan...
Arah tuju kian fana kerna hilangnya mahligai..
Bagaikan siang diselubung gerhana......

Kembalikan senda tawa.....
Pulangkanlah manis di seyummanya......
Ku paharkan keinsafan..
Dan dapatikan kesetiaan..
Sehingga nadi menafikan nyawa.......
Kasih.. maafkan diriku
Banyak dosaku padamu
Tidak terhitung jari jemari daku
Tak dapat dibilang bagai bintang beribu
Sukarnya diriku menebus kekhilafan yang lalu

Kasih.. engkau tak bersalah
Hanya hatiku yang buta
Tulus dan ikhlas kau korban jiwa raga
Dan tanpa belas ku buat kau kecewa
Ku tahu dirimu sukar melupakan segalanya
Kasih…


Anyway, been busy today. Had lots of stuff in hand. Newbie came over yesterday afternoon and she came again today in the morning. Didn't do much with her, I mean explained to her as I had to do my stuff.

She's kind of petite size. And gosh, she's very bubbly. And guess what? She opened up her life story. Got to know she's from the neighbouring country and a divorcee with a son. And trust me, she doesn't even look as thou she's married before. *shrugs* oh well. I've been deceived by her looks.

Anyway, yesterday accompany my babe to Woodlands as she need to buy watch and polo shirt for her hunk. Hehe. Nice, I like the watch. Then, Ayu and her sister saw us. Could see Ayu was pretty exhausted and stressed

Made my babe a little suspense with my personal message on my msn as well as kind of anxious. Firstly, she was suspense when I typed something like
I rindu banget sama kamu...duhai kekasihku...... bantal...hehe

Next, she was anxious after reading my next personal message
I would love to have u again. Can't wait to jump on bed with u soon............Waiting to go hm to reunite wif my pillow. hehe
Haha.

Vans called just now *sigh* I know I should stick to my own decision that he's out of my life ever since that chapter ended. And, I still suspect that he's lying to me again. Forget about it. I don't wish to talk about it

Ok la, will check out facebook a little before I go to bed today as I'm going JB with my parents tomorrow..
Thursday, January 03, 2008

Network connection was down just now. So, I did the diagrams first followed by a bit of housekeeping. There's still more housekeeping to be done. Can say about 50% is done. Phew!

Anyway, understudy is coming soon *sigh* Hate it. Should tell him I'm busy so that he wouldn't send down the fella.

Anyway, there's a few things I wish to inform you people.

Firstly, I'm overweight. Shocking? I know people will commented "Takmo merepek uh". This time, I'm not lying ok. I'm really am overweight. I've weighted myself. And guess what? I'm 53.4kg with my kind of height. It's overweight ok. Go and check ok.

Secondly, I have good news! Before I reveal the good news, let me update what happened yesterday night.

I was supposed to do lesson plan but ended up I fell asleep in front of the laptop till about 1230am. I resumed back to sleep after keeping the laptop away. See, how tired I am with all those working from home. *sigh* And I made up my mind to inform my boss about me being overworked.

And I did. That's when the good news part came in. I told him I'm working on weekends as well as Public Holiday and he laughed? Cam mintak kena maki ke. Anyway, he told me to inform my Sup about it and request for extension. Only after that conversation, I felt confident enough to inform my Sup.

My Sup listened to what I had to say. And ended up, he agreed that I have to finish up the closing of files for 2 years. Thanks. I really appreaciate it.

But still, I'm worrying about something else. My boss really wants to post me near my home. OK, I know it's a good news to hear that but I really enjoy working here in this school. I get almost everything I want. I'm not sure about the other school. And I'm worried that my boss wants me to help the other school to be like this school, you know the FS thing.

Of course I can don't inform my parents about me posted nearby but the thing is I prefer working here! And if I'm not posted nearby, I will be in the office which is my boss's first choice. *sigh*

Lastly, I felt myself being cooped in the room in front of either laptop or computer. I really felt as thou I'm the one who is using too much of electricity. *sigh* And I could sense that. I was dead tired yesterday. And honestly, they could see the change in me.

I'm feeling myself getting much more restless and more hot - tempered when I'm under stress. To those who I didn't entertained or even meet up, I'm extremely sorry. My work is eating me and I need to get back on the track before my wires went lose (to which, I nearly lost my wires yesterday).......
Wednesday, January 02, 2008

So many things happening. I'm not feeling happy like I used to. Each time someone sees me, I tried to smile but I just can't lie to myself.

Overworked, stressing about some stuffs and so on. Tasks after tasks. Arghh! He came back. I don't know what for.

I've been breaking down. Yes, continously & consecutively whether it's internally or externally. I'm tired.

Extremely dead tired & sick.

I need a break. Free from everything. At one point of time, I just wish I just don't exist. It's too much for me to handle.

If only doctor can give me 5 days mc, I think I might get well.

Got to know someone yesterday...And somehow, he reminds me of Mr. Imp. I miss the conversations I had with Mr. Imp.

I miss Mr. Imp, but does he miss me? *sob sob*

It hurts when the truth ain't reveal earlier or even, worse if the truth isn't reveal at all. I hate that kind of feeling.

And out of a sudden, this song is being played while I'm typing this entry
Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'
Tired of livin' like a blind man
I'm sick inside without a sense of feelin

And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story

This time I'm mistaken

For handing you a heart worth breakin'
I've been wrong, I've been down

*sigh* Thanks for letting me feel this way on the second day of 2008, everyone.

I just need to cry my whole heart out. And I've just failed to prevent the tears from falling again & again...

I think I need a hug so that I can cry till I'm satisfied. Anyone?