I froze in my seat and I started to ponder after I opened that email in my yahoo account. I could feel that my heart nearly stopped beating for about 2 seconds.
He emailed me asking why I'm avoiding him and I should just tell him that I wanted to avoid him. How can I do that, without even informing him what I've thought all these while?
My appetite has been declining since a few days ago. Bought Sausage McMuffin with Egg meal but I only ate the hashbrown in the morning and forcing myself to eat the McMuffin for lunch. Two of my students visited me. Thou I felt troubled by the email, I acted normally in front of them.
Asking opinions from some people who were online in my msn. Thanks to those who had helped me by giving me advice. Yes, that scenario is what had happened in my life. I'm too embarrassed to admit that. I failed as a girlfriend. Perhaps, I was too ignorant.
Waited for 2 solid hours for 2 classes to come in, but they didn't arrived. So I spent sometime thinking on what to type for that email. But, I'm expecting a harsh reply, either through phone or email. I'm preparing for the worse. He might just lash me out. Fine, bring it on.
Asking my babe if the email sent out is alright. Thanks babe.
I ain't myself today. Ewans asked why I'm soo quiet over the phone. Told him and he told me to just send that email. I've sent it before this entry was typed out.
I felt a little relief that what was in my heart, has finally been revealed to Vans. Perhaps, my friends are right. I'm being too lenient to him.
And, thanks Allah for showing me. I know that the feelings weren't normal anymore. And, yes I hate to lie to myself by forcing myself to keep on pretending what's not meant to be my future.
To my babe:
Thanks gal, get well soon.
To babey Lia: Thanks gal and good luck for your studies.
To Hafiza: U're great babe. Thanks for being there for me.
To sis Kat: Thanks sis. U helped me a lot.
To my guy friends: Thanks guys. I know all of you wanted me to fark him off by giving him a piece of my mind. I've done it.
To all who had helped me and tolerate me all these 4 years:
