Friday
Well, went to gym as usual. And he focus on toning down my legs. Eventhou I didn't have enough sleep on previous night, surprisingly I could do it, despite me complaining. And Shakin was impressed that I still have the energy to carry the weights (Because, he did lower down the endurance level but I told him to increase it back).
Saturday
Went for Tea Session in the morning. Kinda bored. Too many stuck up newbies. It really irks me seeing them. Boss told me that he decides to let me stay in school. Yey!! I'm soo glad! Reached home, tidy up the house and slept for an hour before I got ready for dinner.
Dinner at the Holiday Inn Hotel was fabulous. We had Indian food. The opening was tempting. Had chicken satay, boiled chicken, boiled shrimp with mayo and sea blubber (which I don't really like the blubber). As I was about to help myself to boiled chicken, my name was called and I won 51st Lucky draw price. And guessed what? It's a file *groans* Why can't I get the grand price which is a sony ericsson phone or even Microsoft Office?
Sunday
Received phonecall from Nasir (he's the one I'm talking to late at night) in the morning and we're talking about black magics. After which I had another phonecall from a friend of mine. The third phonecall was from Vans.
He told me he just reached Singapore. Wanted to apply citizenship in US, so he came back just to collect his stuffs. Wanted to meet me today but I told him I couldn't. Also, he wanted to meet tomorrow and I told him "We'll see how". The only thing he said was "Never mind. Forget it." I told him off by telling him I don't want to meet him in an area which is convience for him and not for me. Enough of him.
Next phonecall comes from imp. I was really stumped he called me. Thou he messaged me at 6+ am, I didn't expect him to call me today. And I knew he wasn't alright when we had our conversation. I respect his decision. But it saddens me. I know he feared of being rejected by my family, I too feared the same thing. I just don't want that to happen. He was confused, hurt about something. I was nearly in tears. I do want him. I miss him badly..But due to situations, I guessed it's best to just being friends.
I know dear. If we're fated together, we'll strive to go through thick and thin. You're always in my heart too. And hopefully, you're strong overcoming all those things which bothers you as well as things which make you stress up. I'll always pray for you.
Talking to Nasir, felt as thou I was talking to imp. Except, both of them have different zodiacs as well as I know I bound to get very sensitive and easily flare up with Nasir, but not with imp as I find him much more understanding.
But there are some comman stuff we shared (me & Nasir). But the thing is , I know this sounds ridiculous. He had a feeling of something bad might happened or I'm doing ridiculous stuff behind his back. But what both Nasir and imp shared in comman is that both used to be from underground. That's what I can share so far.
It doesn't bother me. The more I know it, the more I want to be with these type of people. I really feel impressed that they are willing to go back to the right track. I'm glad, definitely.
And I don't want to think about it. Really. I wouldn't of course put too much heart and soul for the next one. I just don't want to lose that feelings I have for imp.
What I could remember he said was "No matter how hard I try to run away from you, still I couldn't. I miss you more, the times we had together. And I know, there's no point in running away. B'cause of Allah let me know you, means at all cost we're fated together. But, I don't want to promise you anything as I fear that I can't fulfill it."
And my reply to him was "Dear, in life no matter what, there's bound to have ups and downs. We may be having a hard life now but in the future, we can never predict what actually happen and it can turn out we're having a better life in future. And, of course. Right now, I don't want you to promise me anything. All I want is for you to chase your dreams. Start with yourself and I try be your backbone should you fall. And hopefully you can find a good job very soon. And all I ask from you is not to stress up yourself. That's all."
Honestly speaking, yes I do miss everything of him. I can never forget about him. And I feared that I'm moving on too fast. I just don't want that to happen. And no matter what, I know deep down in our hearts, we're always in each others mind and heart. That's what you said and so do I, except I can't tell you as I don't want to make you more confused.
And, I really have to keep my mouth seal, as I don't want to tell him accidentally about what happened between Vans and me.
I pray for your well-being and may you achieve the things that you desire. As for me, I'm trying hard to make my parents to accept people like him or even himself.
